Decisions Decisions

So many things running through my mind. But how can I type it all at once? Ridiculous.
So, I had my driving lessons exam, theory part. Is that normal? Having a theory exam for driving? Haha. Well, whatever. Four more marks and I could have passed, so I have to retake it again. Funny thing is, my book is in BM but I'm doing my test in English. And no offense Ministry but your English sucks, you're not very specific in the questions because what you ask, I can put different answers depending on the REAL situation. But I had to give an answer anyways.

So, decisions, life.. Dear God, why do make things fun, boring, crazy and annoying? I have to decide what I want to study very soon. If I make the wrong decision.---? Hold up, no, there's no such thing as wrong decision. The "wrong decision" happens is so that we are able to learn from it and then do what we please. BUT, I'm not really saying what I want to say.

Decisions.. Have you ever felt you want some thing so bad - not too bad that makes you crazy - but you just wouldn't dare to? I mean, my mum always says "If you want some thing at least just have a bit" (if she's talking about food) or "If you want it, take it because you may not get this chance again", I know I know. I know that already. But this, this is different. This situation makes my head spin from left to right, up-side-down, and all around. I can't figure this out and I keep asking myself, is it worth it? Would I want to change this, for better or for worse, just do it so I can get over it and move on with my life? I keep asking "Is this some sort of concocted feeling that I just think is right", or "Is this really truly real".

But I'll let time slip by and answer it for me. If it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. If nothing good comes out of this feeling, then it's just not meant to be.
As I see this whole thing that I just typed, I don't even know if half of this makes any sense. I just don't know what to think. My mind is so muddled and lost that I don't know what I want or what I expect.

Is it fastidious of me to choose people?

Is it? Am I too picky? Dainty? Fastidious? I pick people whom I want to know me. I don't pick those who have known me since little but those I have met later on. As in, what I think all the time. What I feel. Is it wrong to abandon those that I have been around with since little like that? To let them feel hurt that I'd rather choose recent people over lifelong? If I choose recent..

Then the lifelong don't really know me do they, if I choose who to talk to and things? It's seriously sad. I know I would be hurt if I were in the shoes of my long-time-since-little-friend but can I help it? For example, I want only a number-of-people-less-than-a-few friends to read my blog, to understand me better, to know ME. But if they do, then a few other people whom I don't want to let my thoughts go to are on their blog so what do I do? In the end, I don't do anything.

But I'm so happy with how my life is, I wouldn't trade it for better or for worse. I just don't understand me. Is it bad to be so reserved??

Mistakes is the only thing we dislike from our Loved ones.

 

Yes.

This is true.

And so, we must learn to forgive and forget. Appreciate what your loved ones are doing for you.

Even if you disagree with them.

There's always a reason behind to what they do and think - even though if you may not understand it. It's hard, but at least you know that they are going to an extent to do what's best for you.

(Even that I disagree, because we all want to learn things yourselves - not being prevented by someone so that we're safe)