Oh F**k It

Seriously, da**it. This feeling in me is crazy! I really don't think I should watch all these teenage drama series 'cause all it does is stress me and conjure these emotions which is like a huge metal ball with spikes on it filled with radiation, radiating vigorously - ready to blow at any moment!

My mind.

My mind has gone over what I want to do for my next level of education over and over and I feel frustrated! People ask me what it is that I'm going to study and some times I tell them confidently that education and sociology is what I'm looking in to for the moment yet at other times I just say I'm not sure, I don't know, still thinking and things like that!

When I feel like this, I honestly when to tell someone about it but the more I think about telling anyone I end up asking myself "what's the point? Then I'd just have to explain more and try make them understand what I'm feeling or what I like and dislike (If that is even of any relevance)". People always ask what is your passion, what do you like doing, and I can bet you 75% of people in the WHOLE wide world aren't doing what they thought they'd want to do in the first place.

I'm running out of time!

I can't take too long to think about these things. I have to decide real soon! I know I envy people who know what they want to do and do their best to make it happen. But why am I so indecisive!?? I feel like pulling out my hair and just start screaming!!!

I want to cry..

I don't know what to do with myself. Before I thought of sociology I thought of psychology, the reason why I thought of that is because I want to help people who are going through emotional problems then I came to a conclusion maybe I want to learn psychology is because I want to apply the treatment onto myself. How am I to even help others if I can't help myself!? Isn't it stupid and ironic? Must thing get complicated as we grow older!? Can't I just reverse time and do everything all over again? Relive it again? I miss those times. I'm 18 and yet I still don't go out with my friends too much cause we're all trying to cope with our lives and see what's our path. That or we're distant (physically) and busy doing part time jobs to occupy our time with some use. But we're YOUNG! Shouldn't we be relaxing and hanging out and spending time with each other while we can!?

Must we suffer like this?

I want to cry..

But this is Life. And it starts getting tough when you think your life is about to take off.