Even after all the whining and crying that I miss him, I dont regret cutting the friendship.

Even though I feel bad that I broke that one big promise that mattered the most to him, I really do think it's what we both needed.

Some time and space away from each other until we both come to our senses, think things through, live to do what we need to do and to seek what we want to do by ourselves.

However, some times I hoped I could share my experience and happiness with him.

I am lifeless.

I don't laugh as much as I used to. You know, like, till my stomach hurts or crying with laughter. That's all gone..

Anyway, I want to talk about---..

Last night, the "Noah's Arc Art Exhibition" was held at Lido Beach but we didnt attend. I got an invitation on Facebook but since my mum didnt know about it I didn't mention it. I wanted to go, I really did, but I don't know why I wasnt bothered.

Apparently my mum knew about it because Sofia Cole told her but she didn't know the date and time--and she forgot. She didn't even tell me she knew about it; she calls me blur because I didn't tell her. How was I supposed to know she knew about it and wanted to go?

Haha...yeah. Anyway, it was kind of a pity that we didn't go. Yet at the same time I'm happy we didn't go because apparently my ex-bestfriend was going to be there. His father is an artist and he loves art too but I didn't know they were in town until yesterday.

I know myself. So if we went and I happen to see him, I think I'd want to run as fast as the bullet train.

Because I don't want to see him yet. I could feel it in myself just thinking about it this morning.

A dreadful feeling to have felt.

Yet I miss him.

I'm sorry.