Trouble Brewing

What trouble really? Is it my sister? My mum? Dad? Friends? School? Who's making the trouble? How bad is it disturbing me? Well I'll freaking tell ya, I am mad and absolutely mad. I'm frustrated! So frustrated I cry. So you wanna know who is making me feel so sore and antagonized? Here it is.
Me.
Yes. Me. I can blame it on everyone around me. Get angry with everyone around me. But what use is that? Would I benefit from that? No. I wont. I would just feel abominable and it won't make me feel better. Only if I let the malevolent side take over then of course I would feel better but I won't learn from anything. I'm tired. Tired of having to push my fat lazy ass of my cushion and do my work, not literally but figuratively, though sometimes I do do that. But that, that I can over come. It's just the BIGGER things you know? For example, my exams are still on. I HAVE got to study for my Chemistry but it's hard to get myself to do my work! It's like I don't have motivation! As if I don't want to study and get into college or university! I want to though. I want it SO SO bad but I just need support. I need support from my family and friends. They know I want this, to get my higher levels but I cant do it alone. I need support and the thing is with me I don't speak my mind. I'd rather keep my thoughts than admit it to people. Such ego I have don't I? Haha.. The thing is, when you need to succeed in something you can't do it alone. You have your team members to help you out. Such as in a coffee shop, it's not just the coffee shop alone. The coffee shop needs coffee from the farmers, people to import the coffee, people to brew the coffee and so on.
You see, my mind is so much more distracted than I could ever put in words. I'm so worried that I may not do well in my exams. So much thinking is making me go insane. Though there is nothing I can do now but just pray to God. Thank him for what he has given me and sorry that I let him down. Good night.