Bored......

Gosh. I'm bored. Can't believe I'm saying that. It's just that right now I don't want to do anything even when I have plenty to do. (sigh) Yesterday mince pies were baked, was tempted to take one but of course I wasn't allowed to touch it yet. Today, I was thinking of doing cookies so that I can munch on them at a time like this. It's a horrid weather today, raining, since dawn. I think I'm hungry at the moment beacuse I have a headache. Now that I'm thinking, my life isn't crazy isn't it? (laugh) I just think it was, before. About a few years back I was going through an emotional time. People called me "emo" for the fact I acted like it. But I wasn't -- I was just reserved and quiet, and that I listened to hard rock and stuff which does not mean that I was emo. This year, I am not entirely sure what I was. I organised the school parties and all with the other SRC members which was normal, so all right, I was socialising. No.. The beginning of the year was the volcano, a close friend of mine and I went through some rough patch, 'til we weren't talking at all, didn't even acknowledge each other when we crossed path. I was angry that he thought he could act the way he did, what gave him the right to do so!? YOU'RE NOT MY BOYFRIEND! You're my brother and that's all it shall be. I don't recall if I was petulant, but I know I acted as though everything was fine, just I NEVER looked at him or spoke to him--only when I had to then I did if not it was generalised. He hurt me badly, real bad I cried. Never did I even turn to look at him when ever he spoke which he noticed and it hurt him good. My mum noticed some thing was wrong, so she tried talking to me but it didn't help resolve it. Then after a while, almost 6 months, things cooled and we spoke, resolved the problem, and we're friends again. But this time, just not as close as before. As it is, we weren't that close when the same thing happened a year ago which destroyed our friendship. So now it's just twice worse. We've forgiven each other, it's just that, I don't know if I subconsciously don't. But I think I'm sure I incarcerate, even when I don't want to, I do.