My horoscope for today says "Dreams are often the stuff that goals are made of. So if your nightly retreats are starting to repeat themselves, it might be time to take the hint. Formulate a battle plan and just see how much you can accomplish." What the f*** does that mean!!?
Today, I was talking to Snowman and when I was really asking him questions I felt more confident to tell YummyBear that I don't want to be in a relationship. I've been procrastinating, I wasn't brave enough to tell him what I needed to tell him. Then when I did and he went all----... sad and upset and that got me down. I can't do this, be in a relationship thing! Why can't boys understand that!!? It makes me feel bad and then I end up comforting him and wanting to be with him for the sake of making him happy not being in the relationship because I seriously like him. That's what sort of happened the last time but at least that I liked the guy and I did want to try. But this, this I can't. If I reject this guy then I feel like I'm doing the same thing to what I did to MilkShake who was a good guy too.
Is there something wrong with me!? Always rejecting good guys (in some peoples eyes) and going for "the jock"? But it's not true, because the good guys do have a bad side, it's just that they're good at showing their better side than "the jock" who doesn't bother covering their bad side because they say that's who they are or were, then they try to do better. So now I'm stuck, maybe in your eyes this situation may be simple and the answers right in front of me, which is true. But how to get through it if I'm so scared of making choices. I'm so worried about making bad decisions. I know we all have to learn from our mistakes but I'm afraid to even make mistakes. How do I help myself? I'm afraid. Please Dear God, help me.
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