That's why I don't allow myself to fall in love deeply or at all. Crush, like, adore - yes, but never more than that. I can think it and believe it but I know deep in my heart I will never give my whole heart.
Why?
Because. I know. It's not my time yet. I'm still so young, and I don't want commitments at a young age. It's stressful. I let myself fall into a relationship when I fell like it and I know that it'll not last long. Why? I weigh the odds, see if I am a better person with than without this person, or whether my parents like him. Not that the "him" is significant.
But it's been slightly over a year since that break up. Right after that, I never thought I'd flinch when his name is spoken or ignore his name whenever it pops up on Facebook but I did. I'm not upset about breaking up or being single. I'm not hurt but why is it when I see that he's got a new girlfriend I feel uncomfortable? As though something in my head is yelling "he's forgotten me". I'm fine that he's got someone new but one thing I just can't understand is that when he was with me he convinced me that he really loved me, that I was the only one. Yet so quickly he's found someone else.
Are boys like that? Or it's just him?
Anyway, what's important now is that I concentrate on my future and not ..... relationships. There's no other word is there? Maybe, but I'm too lazy to find out. Meanwhile, I'm waiting for my next book to arrive at my doorstep - can't wait!
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