What's wrong with me! First I'm angry, then I'm rude, now my mind is in space and I keep blanking out!

I know. I know and I can feel it. I'm a lot sensitive these days and it's not because of my cycle I'm sure -.-" haha. It's more of what trouble brews in my brains.

Insecurities, doubts and confusion.

I don't know how to save myself and I feel angry with every single person, frustrated. I don't want to be around anyone but when take a I look at my family --- I want to be close to them more than ever.

So now, I have given myself a challenge; I will apologise to anything done wrong even if it's just a little. I will apologise even when it's not my fault but I was involved anyway because I'm the elder one and I should give good examples.

It's really hard to hold back my temper with my mum getting upset about every single thing that is done or not done. I just snap and grumble when she does that. I haven't been like this for a long while.

And I don't like being like this.

It hurts people around me and most of all it's hurting me. Being like this isn't making things better for me but worse instead. I thought I'm taking in all the lecturing, criticism and chiding because it'll improve me and make me a better person. And it did, of course, but recently--all I'm doing is just ignore it. Just because of all this emotional stress, which isn't helping. I've been stupid and ignorant and see where that has lead me(?) --just more trouble.

So I'll start again, I'll be humble again. No matter how much it pisses me off. I shall breathe. Breathe and apologise. That's good, Ly. :) See? It's working already. Lol! Nitez!